Total Distortion [Speedrun, 20:21.16]


Run Starts at 0:55
A very sloppy speedrun on a laptop that can barely handle the game
(better upload coming soon, still updating description too)
Time starts when you get out of the coma tank, ends when getting back inside.
I consider this more of a proof of concept rather than a serious speedrun.

uses DOSBox, running at 20000 cycles for consistency sake (optimally one would just leave it at 100%, but the game was almost unplayable that way on my end, specially while recording)

Perhaps if someone with a better computer could jump in and tackle into this game, that would be apreciated. (you can save up to 6 minutes if you optimize this run!)


-Why are you using the german version instead of the English one?

In the english version, the Guitar Warrior fight take forever to start (this sequence has a speed cap), this was changed in this version making it overall faster, despite the slightly longer dialog (Roxxane and the first Guitar Warrior).
Don’t worry, “You are Dead” and all other songs have not been redubbed.

-This is unrelated to the run but …does the Artifact work in this version?

Yes! and when you think about it, it’s super useless! you can only ever use it twice in a run and there’s no way to recharge it (as far as I know)

-How come you didn’t get to sleep right away?

Eh, dunno, the game does that when you go too fast, didn’t bother reseting just for that :v

-Only bread?

Bread too heavy, fill tummy well

-How come your Guitar case opens faster?

You can have it so it opens faster by holding ALT when you initially click on it. Additionally, some scenes in the game skip the scrolling through the items, making it faster to scroll and use the item, provided you’re fast enough for it.

-How did you get past the Death Hall without going down to 1 Life Force/Mental Energy?

As it turns out, the longer you stay on that screen, the more damage you take, so mashing the crap out of the W and ↑ keys made it so I took the least ammount of damage (also the shitty laptop speed may have helped here?)

-Why do you go off the path in the TV maze?

This skips one puzzle and some potential Guitar Warrior fights, making it overall easier (I tried to warp to 35 but didn’t get very lucky, so I used an alternate path and ended up going off the path in the process, oops)

-How do you regenerate Health?

You need to have 90 or more Mental and Fisical energy for it to start regenerating with each turn, what counts as a turn depends on the scene

-Isn’t the Bronze key technically faster?

Fuck that! I did poorly with the head key, I’m not redoing this shit with an item that has a 63,6% chance of success due to pure RNG.
Usable bullets : 24
Best case scenario : 16
Worst case scenario (assuming you don’t miss a single shot) : 44

-Why didn’t you make music videos before starting the run?

What’s the point of the speedrun if I already have the footage to sell? :v

-Why Yuji Dude?

With Yuji Naka Dude, you can skip dialog, unlike Stevie which uses a different format for her video sequences, he also likes wackyness so he fits. A shame I haven’t worked out a good way to remake videos to sell (screwed that part, wasted about a minute), this route requires 3 videos to be sold and the price is randomized every time you talk to him, no matter what it’s about (I’m sure I could have used less sequences and such but I never worked out anything good)
It’s true that running this on a modern 32 bit OS or simply having the wrong version of quicktime installed on Win3.1 on DOSBox makes it so all of Stevie’s lines are skiped, I feel as though that’s kind of cheating.


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  1. that german message means you can not fall asleep as hard as you try your head is buzzing and your body just can not rune

  2. Patapon seemed to be better. Well, as for what I am saying, your quick-whim videos there for the end part are pretty boring, as far as I saw. Patapon is mostly rhythm and tribal combat, and difficult to the hands like those videos difficult to the appeal. But you ran nicely through that. Wish there was an English run to understand. (Pon Pon Pata Pon!)

  3. Hello from Total Distortion's creator Joe Sparks! I made a couple of Total Distortion Live Streams recently, you might find some of the stories interesting!

  4. I'd love to run this if I actually had a copy of it D: Very cool to see someone get a leaderboard and a run up for it, cheers!


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